But A Loss

Time n again
I try
to define
the real me

& everytime
I fail
bigger
than ever before

What I am
is what
you will
never know

What I was
is maybe
I still
very am

Or maybe
I am
a loner
to you world

Could be
the closest
or could be
the farthest

Want to hear
the so unsaid
Want to see
the so unseen

or maybe I'm
the one
who is just
deaf & blind

to the fake
& the real
to the alive
& the lively

The harder
I give in
the harder
I could run away

from you world
whom I don't behold
from you people
whom I don't love

Or is it
that I love
you too much
to ever say it

Or could be
just the hatred
I still
carry
for an inanimate

I am
but a human
I am
but an animal

I am
but a social
I am
but a loner

I am
but a gain
& I am
but a loss ...